Daisy and Venison
By Laura Riding, 1935
Daisy was a consciously happy young
woman without any of the usual endowments that make for conscious happiness,
money apart. She was not pretty, she was not clever, she
had no friends, no talents, nor even an imagination to make her think she was
happy when she was really miserable. As she was never miserable, she had no
need of an imagination. She was what most people with imaginations would call
still-witted. True, she had no money cares. But her life was not a monied life; her happy ways were obviously not connected
with her having no money cares. She lived by herself in an abandoned house that
belonged to nobody and that she had been able to take possession of without ceremony
because nobody wanted it. It was somewhat in the mountains, above a small,
characterless town; she had found the key in the door and walked in.
Venison was the daughter of the once
richest family in that town. This was her real name, given her by her mother
because when she was born she had a freakish, gamey look, and her father had
said, “She’d have an odd taste, not like ordinary meat.” The name had an odd
but pretty sound. And Venison had turned out odd-looking, but pretty—as a
spoilt photograph is sometimes quite pretty. She spoke little, took a morbid
interest in herself though she was not really a thoughtful girl, and stole from
people. One day she stole from her father. When she had stolen from other
people he had always laughed heartily and said, “It brings out the worst in
people to have something stolen.” But when she stole from him he said, “Get out
of my house, I don’t want to live strange!” ‘Living strange’ was how he
described anything that made people different from animals. He didn’t mind
stealing in itself, but he minded problems and discussions and attitudes and in
general all brain-activity. If he gave Venison a clout on the head for taking
his drinking-money out of the tobacco-jar in which he concealed it from her
mother, there would be talk about the propriety of a father’s striking his
daughter, about the merits and demerits of physical punishment for moral
offences, about the propriety of concealing drinking-money in a tobacco jar—
about what not? So he merely told her to get out of his house. To her mother he
said, “I’m tired of that girl.” Her mother gave her a hoard of gold pieces that
she kept concealed in a sock in her sewing-basket, and advised her to get Daisy
to take her in.
Daisy took her in, almost without
noticing that there was a new person in the house. Daisy continued to do all
the work, but treating Venison less as a guest than as a flaw that had
developed in her happiness, which she must accept uncomplainingly along with
it. Venison spent her time sitting in comfortable positions indoors or out of
doors. As she had no clothes but delicate Sunday ones, it was a pleasure to
Daisy to have her about, as she liked to have illustrated magazines in
different places in the house, though she never read much or bothered much to
look at the pictures. Somehow, by sitting about in comfortable positions in
Sunday clothes with nothing to do, Venison found herself making up stories and
then writing them down daintily in her lap—as a summer visitor writes letters
under a sunshade, looking as nice as possible and not really occupied. Her
stories were mostly about people who did not altogether moral things that
turned out well and therefore seemed, after all, right things to do. She had
never travelled and so could invent all kinds of strange places without being
limited, as travelled people are, by knowledge of certain places only. Nor did
she know much about people. But as she was a timid, somewhat wicked person
herself, she thought of other people as being like herself, only a little
bolder. She did not think of wickedness as wickedness, but rather as the stuff
people were made of, like flesh. Thus, without any knowledge of life or
geography, she gave an impression of wide experience in her stories. With a
little training in grammar and literary style she would undoubtedly have been a
successful author. Her one serious failing was that she could not write above
love. She could not write a story with more than one important character in it,
whom she thought of for the moment as herself; with
love there had to be at least two important characters.
Venison wrote story after story. For
a long time this did not affect the course of her life with Daisy. The stories
were packed away in the dog-basket in which she had brought all her things. There
were two air spaces in the basket and Daisy filled them with putty to keep the
dust out, then painting the putty over with gold paint. The dog-basket was kept
in the store-room. Practically everything in the store-room had gold paint on
it somewhere. Everything in Daisy’s house that was not of immediate use went
into the store-room; and being put into the store-room made a treasure of a
thing—this is why practically everything there had gold paint on it. Venison
had never been in the store-room, although it stood between her bedroom and
Daisy’s. Venison was not interested in the house she lived in. She was not even
interested in Daisy. The house and Daisy supplied her with comforts: she was
only interested in the comforts. For example, she never went into the kitchen;
she did not know what the shed where the washing was done looked like inside.
It did not worry her that the house or Daisy might have secrets. If it had
secrets, she preferred not to know them. It was more convenient to trust Daisy.
She had handed over her gold pieces to Daisy when she came. She had not allowed
herself to think that Daisy would do anything else with them than spend them on
her comfort. Nor did she ever wonder, during all the years she lived with
Daisy, how long her money had lasted.
Daisy went down into the town every
Saturday morning with a donkey and cart and brought back whatever she thought
necessary. Without ever asking for anything, Venison had all she wanted; at any
rate it never occurred to her to want anything not provided by Daisy. Daisy had
a way of shopping that seemed extravagant; but it was really a very good way,
considering how much money she had. When she went down into the village she
would take with her all the money that a certain glass jar with a screw-top
would hold. She would go from shop to shop, set the jar down on the counter and
buy everything in the shop that might at some time be of some possible use to
her—or to Venison, after she came. If there was change she would say, “No, give
me something for it.” She thus accumulated many things of no immediate use
except as storeroom treasures. The money in the jar was, like Venison’s money,
in gold pieces. The shopkeepers became quite used to Daisy and her way of
shopping, as it is always easy to become used to people with eccentricities if
they have money. But they would have liked to know exactly how Daisy came by
hers.
How she came by it is really another
story. When she first arrived in the town she had carried only a bundle, which
could not have been very heavy: there were some people who insisted that they
had seen her swing it. Nor did she ever get letters, nor did anyone ever
come to see her. People used to say that she must have found the gold up in the
mountains, and that she must have had information about it before she settled
there. And this was indeed the truth. Her father had been a famous bad-man.
When he reached that time of life when a bad-man is in danger of becoming
socially acceptable precisely because he is a popular legend, he knew that the
good old days were over. So he made his plans accordingly. They had to do
principally with Daisy and his money. He had hidden the money there one night,
after having studied the town all day and decided that his money, if spent
there, would never breed more money: it would remain to the last gold piece
his money. He did not like to think that his money might have a business
career and thus get mixed with other money.
He managed to have a conversation
with Daisy without being seen by her mother. She knew him because her mother
used to cut pictures of him out of the papers and paste them in a book so that
she would know her father if she ever saw him. Her father’s first words were,
“Not a word of this to your mother.” This thrilled her; to be disconnected from
her mother made her real to herself. Then he had explained about the hiding-
hole and the house nearby. She was to go there as soon as she read of his death
in the newspapers, settle in the house, spend the money only in buying things,
and spend it all, and spend it there. And then he had gone away again, in a
mood to get himself killed in a brawl about honour, for which he cared nothing.
Daisy, whose mother had actually been her father’s wife and who had been taught
to hope that she might, though neither pretty nor clever, one day enjoy the
dignity to which she was legally entitled, was emotionally prepared for the
demand made on her. The important point was not the money, but that she had
been recognized by her father. She now had a definite location in the world,
having previously been merely, as it were, an illusion of her mother’s. She
stole out of her mother’s house on the day that she read of her father’s death,
went to the town, found the money—more, it seemed, than she could ever use up
on herself—and settled in the house nearby as her father had directed. She
never forgot that it was her father’s money she was spending; this was what
made her seem such a happy young woman. Spending it on Venison reminded her
still more strongly that it was her father’s money. She did not much like
having Venison about, but accepted her as a sort of miscalculation of her
father’s. She liked to see the money go, at any rate; it made her feel that she
was her father’s daughter. And it was better to spend it on Venison than to
have it stolen. There was, of course, no real danger of anyone’s stealing it.
The people in that town were not very honest, but they were lazy. And strangers
never came there; or if they did, they never lingered there. It was not an
attractive place; it would have been difficult to explain why it was a place at
all. It was called Fingerbend—no one knew why.
When Venison had lived with Daisy
for ten uneventful years, a change took place. Venison’s mother died and
Venison went to the funeral. She stayed away two days, and with her return
things began to be different. An aunt who read novels had said to her
ironically, “If I were able to live in such seclusion, I’d become an
authoress.” And Venison had answered truthfully, “I have become an authoress. I
write stories.” Of course her aunt had laughed at her. She had not insinuated
that Venison did not write stories, but that the stories that she wrote could
not be what was meant by literature. Venison lacked, she said, both education
and human sympathy. So when Venison returned, Daisy had to get out the
dog-basket for her, and she read all her stories over again.
“I haven’t any human sympathy, as
people who write stories are supposed to have,” she said to Daisy, “but I have
instincts. They say it is like being an animal to rely on your instincts, but
if an animal wrote stories about people, they would be good stories in their
way. And my stories are good stories in their way. When I write them I feel
like an animal writing about people.”
Daisy did not let Venison’s sudden
talkativeness upset her. She said calmly, “You ought to get the stories
printed.” They chose one of the illustrated magazines to send them to. The
following Saturday Daisy took the dog-basket to the post-office and sent it
off, having made the papers solid inside with an embroidered sofa cushion out
of the store-room. And now for the first time she learned Venison’s last name.
Venison showed her the letter that she had written to the Editor. “I am sending
you a lot of stories in a dog-basket. It opens by pressing on the lock. Yours respectfully, Venison Bride.”
The next thing, after Venison’s
return from her mother’s funeral, had to do with her father. She came back
thinking about him. She did not want to live with him, nor did he want her to.
She knew, of course, that he would drink himself to death now, since he no
longer had her mother to hide his drinking from; but the real reason for this
new interest in him was that she would have liked him to approve of her life
with Daisy. Seeing him again made her feel that she was her father’s daughter;
she told herself proudly that her lack of human sympathy came from him. She
pressed him to visit her; every Saturday morning Daisy went to ask when he was
coming. Finally, one afternoon he came. He stayed to supper and let the evening
run out without talking of going down again. Daisy arranged a bed for him in
the store-room. In the morning he was gone before Venison was up. No talk had
passed between Venison and him, but from the pleased, narrow glint in his eyes
when he looked at Daisy she knew that it was Daisy whom he admired, not her,
and that if he ever came up again it would be to see not her but Daisy. She had
hoped that he would approve of her shrewdness in handling Daisy. But it was clear
that he thought her the fool, not Daisy. She admitted to herself that she did
not want him to come up again.
And he came up again, to tease her,
knowing that she did not want it. Once he tried to get Daisy to kiss him, but
she hit him on the head with the flat of a wood-cleaver and knocked him
unconscious. Then she bundled him into the cart—still unconscious—and took him
home and put him to bed. By this time he had revived. He said jokingly that he
must get a wood- cleaver to put himself to sleep with—he was a poor sleeper.
They had a friendly talk about ways of putting oneself to sleep. Daisy always
lay for a bit thinking over what she had done during the day, then she sat up,
turned her pillow over, put her head on it again and went straight to sleep. He
always put his head under the blankets until he felt stifled and had to let the
fresh air in, which took away what little sleepiness he had worked up under the
blankets. When he began to talk about Venison, saying that she was certainly
insane, Daisy started to go. She did not like thinking about Venison except as
a sane household responsibility. “Good-night, Mr. Bride,” she said, “I suppose
we won’t be seeing you again.” After that Venison began to dislike Daisy. She
wanted someone to admire her—as an animal, however wild, feels the need of
admiration, if only from other animals. Daisy kept her clothes going neatly
round the year, but she never looked at her except to be satisfied that her
work was well done. Perhaps Daisy disliked her.
The third break in the
uneventfulness of their life together was caused by an interest in money that
Venison brought back with her from her mother’s funeral. For her mother had
left her another hoard of gold pieces tied up in another sock. When she came
back she put it on the sitting-room table; and, looking for it there the next
day, she found it gone. “Where’s my money?” she asked Daisy haughtily. “I put
it away,” Daisy answered in a matter-of-fact tone. Venison could not object to
its being put away. She could not object to anything. She must have used up
more money than both hoards together since she had been with Daisy. She had
everything she wanted. She liked the way she lived: if there was a still easier
way, she was not prepared to take the trouble to look for it. Here she could at
least be as lazy as she pleased without feeling that she was losing anything by
it.
Nevertheless, she came back from her
mother’s funeral with an interest in money; money not as something she lacked
but as something which, like admiration, made one feel excited as well as
contented. She now wrote more and more stories. She sat up late at night and
grew irritable, like a person waiting feverishly for a legacy, animated by his
own inertia. Daisy made things easier than ever for her. She was careful about
her pencils and brought her tasty breakfasts in bed. She put up a special shelf
in the sitting-room for the new stories, at a comfortable height, with little
cretonne dust-curtains hanging from a covering shelf on which she stood the new
clock—for Venison had begun to have an interest in time as well as money. She
would go into the kitchen, where Daisy kept her alarm-clock by day, and say,
“Have I time before lunch to start another story?” So Daisy bought her a clock
of her own.
Daisy now found it necessary to read
Venison’s stories. Venison did not actually ask her to do this, but Daisy
noticed that Venison attached more importance to the stories than she had in
the past; and Daisy always took trouble with whatever Venison attached importance
to. Daisy knew very well how to read, though she was not fond of reading: one
shut out all other thoughts and went on to the end, without thinking of
anything except what one was reading about, and at the end got up and went back
to work cheerfully, as one always did after interruptions that could not be
avoided. Reading Venison’s stories was not different from any of the other
things she did for her. There was nothing more dishonest in Daisy’s trying to
interest herself in Venison’s stories than in her trying to please her in any
other way. In her general handling of Venison, Daisy was guided only by a
desire to live in a way that her father would have approved of; and it seemed
to her that her father had meant her, most of all, to be steady and calm, and
not to be distracted. She had never treated Venison as anything new. In trying
to interest herself in Venison’s stories, she was studying Venison’s new
appetite for excitement as she might conscientiously study any sudden change in
her tastes, to avoid irritation on either side at meal-times.
But Venison really wanted to start
something new, even though she was, as she argued with herself, thoroughly
contented. She could not help flirting with her own good luck in being so
contented. As soon as Daisy understood something of what was going on in
Venison’s mind she began doing fewer things for her. She continued to be
careful about her pencils and to give her the things she liked to eat; but she
tried to make her as unimportant as she could without seeming to want to drive
her away. She no longer interested herself in Venison’s clothes. She kept
Venison’s room clean, but let it get untidy and stay untidy. Thus Daisy became
confused and uncertain in her dealings with Venison; she sometimes wondered if
she herself should not go away. She did not want to talk to Venison about
things; indeed, she had nothing to say. She was in a very difficult position as
her father’s daughter; her father had not thought of Venison.
Then Mr. Valentine came. Mr.
Valentine was the editor to whom they had sent the stories. He arrived one
summer morning with the dog-basket, smiling like a clergyman on holiday. He was
too tall and too thin to be handsome, but he had long, thick, unruly hair that
gave him a poetical look. Venison was still in bed, so he spoke to Daisy, whom
he took to be her sister. “I didn’t write to your sister about her stories,” he
said. “I wanted to see her myself before doing anything about them. The stories
are powerful—er—powerful. Powerful
but quite cold. They need a personality to hang them on—a little
publicity, perhaps. Wonderful style. Ruthless. Simple. Almost too simple. Quaint.” “She
has lots more,” Daisy said. And, kindly, “Will you have a cup of tea?” “This is
going to be great fun,” said Mr. Valentine. “Your sister must be an
extraordinary woman.” He put the dog-basket on the table and pressed hard on
the lock with a knowing wink at Daisy. “I got the trick all right,” he laughed.
He patted the basket as if it were something of his own, saying, “I’ve grown
very fond of it.” Daisy noticed that it had had hard use. The gilded pieces of
putty had fallen out. He untied the rope and took out a gramophone, a box of
chocolates and a comb. He combed his hair with the comb and left it lying on
the table. Then he untied the ribbon round the chocolates and offered them to
Daisy. “Perhaps Venison would like one,” she said. Venison was still asleep.
“Would you like a chocolate?” Daisy said, tapping her on the shoulder. “The
Editor has come.” Venison woke up and took a chocolate sleepily. “The Editor
has come,” repeated Daisy. “Oh, yes, the Editor,” she mumbled. She did not seem
surprised, as if she had known all along that he would come.
Mr. Valentine had by now started
playing the gramophone and was walking about the room smiling to himself. “She took a chocolate,” Daisy reported. “I suppose
she will be down soon.” Mr. Valentine chuckled. Daisy cleared away his tea-cup
and put his comb back in the basket. He took it out and used it again, leaving
it again on the table. Then he put on another record. Daisy went up to her room
and packed her clothes. She left the house. She went to the hole in the rock
where the gold pieces were hidden. When she had got them all out, she found at
the end of the hole a wad of bank-notes of high denominations. In a way, her
father had thought of Venison, after all; he had allowed for some
miscalculation. She tucked the notes into her blouse. In the kitchen she put
the gold pieces into a deep water-jug and carried it up into Venison’s room. Venison
was getting into her most elaborate dress, and Daisy helped her, having set the
jug on the floor where Venison would not notice it too soon. Then Daisy went
downstairs and out of the house. Mr. Valentine was still playing the
gramophone, walking about the room and smiling to himself.
Daisy went out of the house, down
the mountain, and out of the town. There was no train at that hour, so she
hired the only taxi in the town and drove to the nearest large railway station.
Here she took the first train that went a long way. She wanted to go as far
from Fingerbend as she could without spending too
much money on the fare. Her object now was to make her money last as long as
she lasted. In Fingerbend she had never wanted change
when she went shopping. Now she must try to get as much change back as
possible. The train brought her to a city. In a city there were bargains and
one could not avoid getting change back when one went shopping: bargain prices
always came in irregular figures. Daisy grew into a very economical, very old
woman and forgot all about Venison. Venison had never been more to her than a
miscalculation of her father’s that she had to be dutiful about and let take
its course. When Mr. Valentine arrived, she had known that its course was
finished as far as she was concerned.
Venison came down into the
sitting-room carrying the chocolate-box and munching a second chocolate. “Ah!”
said Mr. Valentine, staring at Venison greedily, “Here we are!” Venison stared
back without a smile and without a word of greeting. She sat down in a chair
turned somewhat away from him. He picked up another chair and placed it
opposite hers, leaning towards her over the back of it. “I haven’t come
before,” he said, “because I have been thinking about you. You are an extraordinary
woman. We must only be patient at first about money.” At the word ‘money’
Venison smiled at him for the first time. “The deuce!” he cried admiringly. He
went over to the table, put on a record and walked about the room, rubbing his
hands together. Venison got up and took down the stories behind the curtain,
laying them on the table as if they were more his affairs than hers. “You just
leave it all to me,” he said. “There’s plenty of time. Do you think your sister
would mind my staying here a few days? I’ve got to learn all about you.”
Venison went to tell Daisy, but Daisy was not in the house. Perhaps she was in
the washing-shed; Venison did not trouble to look. Mr. Valentine assumed that
he might stay, though Venison said nothing. He seemed to find her silence
intoxicating. “And now,” he said, pressing down the lid of the gramophone
emphatically, “what about a little love?”
Venison ran upstairs to her bedroom
to think. She was not sure how she ought to react. Why not a little love? It need not interfere with anything if one thought
only of oneself. That was one of the advantages of being a woman: one didn’t
have to love, only let oneself be loved. Perhaps love was a more practical way
of being worldly, while living a retired, lazy life, than writing stories. She
looked into her mirror and decided to change into a more sensible frock. Then
she noticed the water- jug full of gold pieces. She knew immediately that Daisy
had gone away for good. She went downstairs, picked up the pile of stories from
the table and put them into the kitchen stove.
Mr. Valentine was outside,
triumphantly planning his next step. She put the gramophone in the dog-basket,
and the comb, and what was left of the chocolates, and carried it out to him.
“You can keep the dog-basket,” she said with a sneer. “Now go along.” She shut
the door without waiting for an answer.
Venison went to live in her father’s
house, now hers. He had, as she had expected, drunk himself to death. She put
the house in order and ran it on a dignified scale, keeping two maids. She did
not marry. With her money, her house, her maids, her proud looks, and her air
of sitting in unbroken serenity at a private counting-table, she was able to
keep going without scandalous misadventure a sequence of passionless love
affairs with respectable men in the town. She lived long, and yet when she died
she was not noticeably an old woman. The town gave her a splendid funeral. She
had left it all her money, to be spent on preserving its character. As they
were not quite sure what this meant, they were only too pleased to spend as
much of the money as they could on burying her in an appropriately grateful
manner. No one had a word to say against her, not even the wives. She had never
let anything or anyone disturb her daily peace; and such people do not disturb
the daily peace of others.
Sometimes Venison thought about
Daisy. Suppose Daisy had not gone away? Then she would not have had the money,
and the long, quiet excitement of living a life that was really her own. Had
Daisy gone away for her sake, because she had suddenly felt that she, Venison,
was entitled to a life that was really all her own? No, she decided, Daisy had
gone away because she had suddenly felt that she, Daisy, was entitled to a life
that was really all her own. How alike she and Daisy were —except that she
would never have gone away first or left the money behind. Venison smiled to
herself good-naturedly whenever she thought of Daisy—as a dog wags his tail
good- naturedly at a cat that he has chased up a tree, and then turns to finish
her supper with friendly relish, not at all upset by the obscure way in which
she watches him.