The defence is a shambles: what does that mean?


Author: Terence Rajivan Edward
Abstract. "The defence is a shambles" is a remark used in football commentary. By football, I mean what is called soccer in North American societies. I propose and reject four definitions, before arriving at a definition I regard as acceptable. But given the definition, I worry that a commentator does not know enough to be able to reliably use this expression.
Draft version: version 1 (22nd July 2025)


        "The defence is a shambles": one hears this remark in football commentary, but what does it mean? It is difficult to say.


Here is an initial proposal, as might be given by someone with little knowledge of English (and perhaps the sport in question too).
(PROPOSAL1) The defence of a team is a shambles if and only if:
(i) A goal was scored by the opposing team.
(ii) Better defending would have prevented this goal
But there are problems with this proposal. One problem is that you can (or one can) say that the defence is a shambles in some circumstances when a goal was not scored by the opposing team but there was a high risk of a goal being scored.


This brings us to a second proposal.
(PROPOSAL2) The defence of a team is a shambles if and only if:
(i) There is a significant risk of a goal being scored by the opposing team.
(ii) Better defending would reduce this risk.
But there are problems with this proposal too. One problem is that condition (ii) can be true, but the only way for the team to defend better is by their players reaching the level of the best defenders in the world ever: Maldini, Baresi, Costacurta, and a fourth player. (Ryan Giggs?)


This brings us to a third proposal:
(PROPOSAL3) The defence of a team is a shambles if and only if:
(i) There is a significant risk of a goal being scored by the opposing team.
(ii) Better defending, in a way that we can reasonably expect from this team (not the opposing team), would reduce this risk.
But there are problems with this proposal too. One problem is that the risk must not be reduced by a miniscule extent, such as 0.01%, if we can quantify this.


This leads us quite naturally to a fourth proposal.
(PROPOSAL4) The defence of a team is a shambles if and only if:
(i) There is a significant risk of a goal being scored by the opposing team.
(ii) Better defending, in a way that we can reasonably expect from this team (not the opposing team), would significantly reduce this risk.
But there are problems with this proposal too. "Shambles" is about disorganization. It should be that the better defence involves better team organization, rather than a series of independent individual decisions that work for the best.


This is my final proposal then (which is perhaps hasty - why did I start writing on this?).
(PROPOSAL5) The defence of a team is a shambles if and only if:
(i) There is a significant risk of a goal being scored by the opposing team.
(ii) The manager or coach has specified a way of organizing the defence which aims to reduce this risk, e.g. this defender should be tracking that attacker, etc.
(iii) The players are not organized in the specified way.
(iv) If they were organized in this way, the risk of a goal being scored by the opposing team would be significantly reduced.
(v) It is reasonable to expect the players to be organized in this way - the manager's specified organization is not unreasonable for these players.


But we must clarify what "reasonable" means here. At least two clarifications, in broad outline, come to mind. One clarification is aimed at the player who gives priority to playing football well amongst their ends. Given their talents and this prioritized end, it is rational for them to do their part in realizing the specified organization. Another clarification is aimed at the player who gives equal or greater priority to other ends, such as having a family. But either line of clarification seems to require that a commentator knows a lot about the players before they can reliably use the remark. Is the commentator ever in a position themselves to use it? (I wonder whether the professional footballer themselves is not disposed to inwardly describe "the situation" in this way.)


I must thank Professor Miriam Ronzoni for "suggesting" to me the idea of writing on this topic. She has a blog post entitled, "Shambles, But Make It Digital," which refers to football. I don't know anything about the professional footballer and their point of view on football, by the way, but proposal 5 above seems a good clarification of the remark.


Reference
Ronzoni, M. 2024. Shambles, But Make It Digital. Crooked Timber October 1st 2024. Available at: https://crookedtimber.org/2024/10/01/shambles-but-make-it-digital/