"Lionel Messi is to soccer as you are to _____"? Author. Doctor Terence Rajivan Edward (or 0161__Rajivan, if that helps) Abstract. I won't try to fill in the blank: it was mere attention seeking! Messi is the greatest soccer player of his generation, soccer being the most popular sport in the world probably. But Messi does not work in a prestigious profession. He will not receive a Nobel Prize for his soccer or a Fields Medal or anything really, apart from his soccer medals and money, etc. But he perhaps wonders who he is comparable to amongst those who do work in prestigious professions. For example, is he a Kafka? Someone might pull out a list of more obscure and lesser figures and say, "You are comparable to this person." For example, to me! Messi was for many years the best in his sport, whereas if you take my "sport" to be essay writing - I am not uncompetitive but I don't actually think of it as sport - perhaps I have some claim to have been the best from March 2022 to September 2023, or some brief period around then. Messi stands alone; there is so much competition for me, isn't there? I consider what to make of this difference. Draft version: 4 (26 June, Millian added and minor edits, v3 YouTube references filled in, version 1 on 16th December 2025) While I have this pace I shall not tie Messi's shoelace The Argentine footballer Lionel Messi was in India recently and the fans ripped off stadium chairs and threw them at the "magician" (or something like that). What to make of Messi? During a World Cup, I went to the bank and a Messi-like woman was next to me in the queue, or that was my casual impression anyway. Was someone suggesting if Messi were a woman it would be a marriage of equals? Messi - the greatest footballer (soccer player) of his generation - perhaps wonders who his peers are in other fields, or professions or whatever. MESSI: Kafka? MILLIAN: There is no comparison, because you provide the lower pleasures and the lower pleasures are not worth one higher pleasure. OTHER PROFESSOR: No, here is a list of much more obscure figures to which you, with your world fame, are comparable to. But why me? Within his generation, Messi is or was the best at what he does, with one close competitor, and has a claim to being the best ever in his sport. I probably face a lot of close competition in whatever I do. It is a puzzle really, though maybe too personal to interest you. (By the way, there is something amusing about an inquisitive footballer knowing all these shadowy highbrow figures.) One "solution" to the puzzle is that I am more comparable to Iniesta. ("No, I'm Iniesta!") Iniesta has Xavi, David Silva, Ozil (with umlaut), and Scholes and newer passing players for competition, and older players. Another solution is that Messi's sport is tiny: "That is why the greatest within it is compared to merely you." Soccer is so popular, it seems, but what is it compared to essay writing? I don't think of essay writing as sport, but let's focus on it, amongst the various things I do, and assume an analogy with sport is appropriate. Maybe I was the best essay writer in the world for a short period of time in 2022-3 and then I went a bit mad - who doesn't? There are people devoted to crafting their essays well all over the world. Yes, football is global and so many young people want to be footballers, but when compared to essay it is a tiny sport. I was number one briefly, number one! "No, I was number one." Who are you? Comparing myself with famous 20th century essayists from England, I at least feel I am better than Orwell even if you don't, Orwell who seems a very dodgy set of effects to me, but I am not as good as Virginia Woolf or Russell. I was good since my school years and have a lot of practice: still not as good. And there are a lot of other less known competitors or simply superiors: Belloc, Beerbohm, Chesterton, and so many more. Is it simply the large numbers who engage in essay writing which explains all this competition, or my merely being Iniesta by footballing analogy, or is it that the talent this competition attracts is extreme, very extreme? (Someone will pull out my worst efforts and relegate me, I fear. Let's correct them soon!!!) I feel I am rather plain in style compared to these essayists: of course I like to write well, but I am more content oriented. (And I like some new idea or observation or puzzle to share, even if minor. I don't like to produce a polished statement of a well-worn point; the 101st person to write this, or whatever, has finally got the wording right so as to claim a canonical place! But with so much hidden away or outside mainstream locations, can you always avoid this?) Hemingway: Hemingway seemed to notice a lot of competition for himself and he certainly didn't think he could always win, boxing being his analogy: "I started out very quiet and I beat Mr. Turgenev. Then I trained hard and I beat Mr. de Maupassant. I've fought two draws with Mr. Stendhal, and I think I had an edge in the last one. But nobody's going to get me in any ring with Mr. Tolstoy unless I'm crazy or I keep getting better." So he says. I used to have an English imitation of Maupassant; I can't even remember the author's name but it was so good. References Mill, John Stuart. 1861. Utilitarianism. Available at: https://www.utilitarianism.com/jsmill-utilitarianism.pdf Reuters. 2025. Lionel Messi's India tour starts in chaos as angry fans throw seats in stadium. The Guardian 13th December 2025. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2025/dec/13/lionel-messi-india-tour-chaos-angry-fans-seats-pitch-kolkata By the way, the English commentators seem to say Goodness Gracious Me quite often, when Messi scores, the name of a British Asian comedy sketch show. (Have these videos been changed, because the times at which I located the remarks that interested me - they are not there at those times.) Joseph Vincent. 2025. Lionel Messi - The Greatest (Original Career Documentary). Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y8ao9BGxa4&t=995s (Goodness Gracious Mio) FIFA. 2021? Lionel Messi. FIFA World Cup Goals. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_A_FP2F7T0 TNT Sports Football. 2021? Lionel Messi's Top 20 Champions League goals. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jawkYgpcCs (What does the commentator say? Logician or magician on the pitch.)